My Path To The Divine

My first introduction to a mantra was in 1975, at the age of 15 when I embarked on a ship called the Aphrodite in Piraeus, Greece. I was with a tour of the Greek Islands with some English Literature students from a Catholic High School Bishop McGuinness located in Oklahoma City.

That first evening we were greeted before dinner at a reception where about 12 waiters were standing in a line holding trays of champagne. Even though I had partaken, out of the corner of my eye I spotted a young man sitting by himself on a chair off the side of the room.

Something propelled me forward and I knew I had to engage with him.

I went over and said hello, he wasn’t rude, he seemed detached and disinterested in engaging.

I found myself suddenly proclaiming, “There’s something you need to share with me, I don’t know what it is, but I know it’s important. 

He calmly responded “I see you, you see me, you see you”

Being dumbfounded was an understatement. I’m sure my mouth gaping open was a dead giveaway for my shock. But I felt I had to press on.

Also, I had no idea why I had proclaimed what I did to begin this bizarre interaction.

What had come over me to insist that this stranger had something to share with me when I had just met him seconds previously.

My response to his koan was “What does that mean?” 

Again he repeated  “I see you, you see me, you see you.”

And then I repeated my first proclamation. “It’s not that.” It’s something else. The quest was on.

During the week when I would see him I would try to engage, but again he was aloof. There was absolutely no animal attraction between us.

One afternoon, I was able to get him to come to my room, which was a windowless hole in the bowels of the ship.

He told me he was going to give me a secret, he said I was the only one that could use it, he would tell me once and that was it.


After he recited the words, (At the time, I had no idea it was a mantra. He also guided me to some visualization and breathing exercises which immediately responded by a sudden rush of electricity going up my spine.

We didn’t spend time after this experience again and parted ways at the end of the cruise.

The day the cruise ended our group boarded a bus for Florence, Italy. We arrived in the evening, and I shared a bedroom with two other girls.

The next morning I awoke from a vivid dream. I began to tell my two roommates:

Last night I had a dream that I saw myself being shot in the head, seeing my head blowing off, my body separating and then hitting the ground. Next, immediately, some part of me was inside moving through a black void tunnel that in the distance showed a golden light. This golden light started growing closer, as it did, starting to emanate a feeling of profound bliss. 

I began to sense the spirits of beings around, welcoming me into this warm, joyful light full of unconditional love. Suddenly, I felt a gravitational pull me away from this presence, I wanted to stay and bask in this light. There was an impression of a voice that said, “It’s not time yet, you are not finished”.

My astral body then moved back into my physical body and I returned to the bedroom where I was sleeping, although I didn’t wake up at that time.

After this dream, I began my spiritual quest to return to this place of light and unconditional love… 

And now after decades of working on myself, with the assistance of singing bowls and sound instruments, accessing parts of this dream are possible whenever I do kriya, chant, and meditate.